i don't think i could handle any failure any more. i don't think i could take in any more disappointments. my heart aches to know that i am already on that route. route to failure again. to know all the pain and suffering is going to begin again. i wish, i wish i could just.. up and leave from here!
the agony of waiting is eating me up. thinking it may come but knowing its probably not. but still, having to wait. thinking, planning, hoping. but having to see other people happy.
should i not be jealous? should i be happy for them? but then again, jealousy means care, right?
am i wrong? for feeling this way? am i being selfish? should i not be feeling this feeling? but i am not subscribed to this... is it not my right and place to this emotion... this emotional combination of... curiosity, impatience, agony, bully and torture.
is it then, still my mistake for feeling this?
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